Perhaps nothing can be as depressing, leave you more confused, and shatter your ego as much as a breakup with a longtime girlfriend. Relationships are certainly one of the most important aspects of life, but can also be the most fragile. And when one ends, you may find yourself saying, or even screaming, "help me get my ex girlfriend back!"
If you find yourself in this situation, you are likely feeling confused, depressed, angry, frustrated and even desperate. However, if your desire is to get back with your ex girlfriend, you do not want to act out of these feelings. Acting on impulse pretty guarantees that you are going to do the wrong things. And remember, not doing the wrong things is just as important as doing the right things, if not more so.
You may feel the impulse to run back to your ex girlfriend and get on your knees, begging her to take you back. You may even feel like want to cry in front of her, and profess your undying love, and promise all sorts of changes that are not realistic. Don't do this - it makes you look needy and desperate. Neediness is not attractive. Desperation can be downright scary. Despite how badly you want to beg and plead, you must not do that.
In fact, your best bet is to minimize communication with your ex girlfriend to begin with. Yes, this is hard to do, and may seem like the opposite of what you should be doing. But, if you run back immediately, without any sort of plan, you are going to blow it. Believe me. I've done it.
So take some time to let yourself calm down and plan your next steps. Make sure you are in control of your feelings before you contact them. And be sure you have a plan when you do. How long should you wait? There is not definite answer for this, but a couple hours is not long enough. It could be anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Of course, if your ex girlfriend contacts you, you should be civil - don't be rude. But try to avoid any deep conversations about the relationship at first.
While you are waiting and developing your plan, it is important that you don't isolate yourself. Get out with friends. You don't want to sit around and mope during this time. This doesn't mean you should start dating to try to make your ex girlfriend jealous - this will backfire every time. But you should hang out with your buddies, catch a movie, go fishing, whatever - just get out of the house. Sitting around thinking about how bad you feel will only keep you feeling bad. So have a little fun, laugh a bit, and interact with other people.
Take some time for yourself. Is there a project you've been wanting to do? Now is a great time. Start that exercise program you've been taking about. Fix the things around the house you have been promising yourself you would do. It is uplifting to accomplish something positive. Also, you are allowing yourself to think about something other than your ex girlfriend.
By spending time with friends or focusing on other projects, you can "clear your head" somewhat. You need to be thinking clearly to have a plan, and you must have a plan if you really want to get your ex girlfriend back. Running blindly into this, or on sheer emotion, is bound to fail, so don't do it. Focus on other things to help get your thinking right, form a plan, and take you time. These things should give you a good start towards achieving your desire of "help me get my ex girlfriend back."