It's the most common question asked after getting dumped: How to win back my ex girlfriend? Most guys make at least a half-hearted attempt at getting their ex to take them back, but most of those who fail do so because they're completely unsure of what they're doing. You can't get your girlfriend back unless you're physically and mentally prepared to do so, and for that you need a level head and a clear mind. Trying to do it while your head is still reeling from the break up will always end in failure.
Calm Down and Take a Step Back
When your ex first breaks up with you, she expects a reaction. Most guys respond with logic first: they point out many reasons why the break up shouldn't happen, including that they still love their ex. None of these guys take their exgirlfriends' feelings into consideration, which is why this logic fails. Begging and pleading usually follow, which only makes them look desperate. As they give more and more of their power away, the girl takes that power and converts it into confidence. This re-enforces her decision to end things, and she loses respect for the guy in the process.
To get back an ex girlfriend, you need to chill out. When your girlfriend dumps you, the best thing to do is accept it. Yes, this goes against everything your heart and mind is screaming for you to do right now. But because it goes against the normal course of action? That's why it always works.
Accept The Situation Without Conflict
Accepting your break up and agreeing with your ex's decision will throw her for a very big loop. She doesn't expect that reaction, and will even wonder if you'd been thinking of breaking things off yourself. This is good. It puts you in a much better position than someone who throws their dignity away by begging and pleading. And since you "agree" with your ex's thinking, you're not fighting her decision to break up. You're actually putting yourself in a sort of alliance with her own mindset, which avoids conflict and ends up making her respect you more.
Drop Out of Sight and Lose Contact
In learning how to win back my exgirlfriend, the biggest and best move you can make is dropping off your ex's radar for a while. No contact means no phone calls, emails, text-messages, or any other type of communication. By removing yourself completely from the equation, you're giving your ex a stark look at what life will be like without you. She'll wonder where you are. She'll miss you. She'll actually consider calling you, and may come up with excuses to reach out and contact you.
Why this works is simple: your ex broke up with you, but she expected it to happen slowly. She figured you'd still stay in touch, maybe talk a bit, shoot back and forth with some emails... this would be a very comfortable way of losing you. In the meantime she'd be single - able to look around and date other guys if she wants to, all the while knowing exactly where you are and whether or not she can get you back. By cutting all contact with your ex, you're taking that option away from her. You're making her choose between seeing you as a boyfriend or losing you forever.
Reconnect With Your Ex
When enough time has passed and you've been apart long enough for things to cool down, approaching your ex is a good idea. There are ways you can even get your ex to call you, and that's a best-case scenario while trying to win back your ex girlfriend. Communicating with her at this point is a lot more innocent and a ton less desperate than if you'd tried to do it in the days or weeks immediately following the break up. By waiting a while, you've both had a chance to see things differently and will invariably miss each other. Your ex will be a lot more receptive to the idea of meeting up with you also, which is the next step in the process of reconciliation.
Set Up a Reunion Date
The first time you see your ex girlfriend after the break up should be exciting and fun. Don't be scared or nervous - go into it with total confidence and a positive attitude. Getting her to agree to this sort of reunion should be easy: there are some great methods for suggesting lunch or coffee. Pick a neutral location somewhere close to her house in order to make her comfortable. It should be good to see each other, and you should talk about happy things as you catch up on stuff. Don't talk about the break up, fighting, other people you may have seen... all of those topics should be off limits. Keeping things as simple as possible and making sure you make her laugh will both go a long way toward getting a second date.
Asking yourself how to win back my ex girlfriend is only the first step in getting back together again. It does indicate that you're interested in being proactive in your approach, which is a good thing. You can't just start dialing your ex girlfriend's numbers and think you can make her want you again without some sort of definite plan. What you need is a step by step blueprint to winning back your girlfriend. The more planning you do, and the more knowledge you obtain, the much better your chances for success.